


Hey Annie

by Wolf_Claire



Series: MikAnnie Oneshots [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lesbian, Oneshot, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:00:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27250855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_Claire/pseuds/Wolf_Claire
Summary: Oneshot story about Mikasa Ackerman and Annie LeonhartInspired by song Hey Lucy by SkilletPart two of my oneshot Animal - please read that before you start reading this
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart
Series: MikAnnie Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982711
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Hey Annie

* * *

_Hey Annie, I remember your name_

_I left a dozen roses on your grave today_

_I’m in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away_

_I just came to talk for a while_

_I got some things I need to say_

A few months have passed since your fall...and yet it all felt like yesterday. Everything comes to mind as soon as I think about your name... As soon as I think about you... About your smile, which was as precious as peace on Earth. About your blue eyes, in which I'd been lost so many times... About that fear you showed me that night... And about that last time when we were together at the wall...

I've walked around the guards, around all the patrols, so I could be with you...as always... I had a red rose in my hand for you when I entered your dungeon. Some would have thought that as one of the humanity's greatest traitors you would be under constant surveillance... But I was still able to slip easily to you...as always... Today I only had a few minutes, I could only sit in front of you for a moment. I had a few minutes to talk to you. Maybe I can finally get it out of my chest...

_Now that it’s over_

_I just wanna hold her_

_I’d give up all the world to see_

_that little piece of heaven looking back at me_

Only with you I felt like a human. Not as a machine, not as a soldier... I could go back to my childhood memories when I didn't know the pain. When I didn't know how cruel people were, how unfair life was... Before I met Eren and learned how to fight...

I don't know how many times I've been sitting here in front of you, how many times I've brought you a rose, how many times I've been drowning in the thoughts about "what if"... After everything we've been through together, after all these evenings, after all the talking... Maybe if I did something different, I could hold you in my arms right now... I could have my piece of heaven back...

_Now that it’s over_

_I just wanna hold her_

_I’ve gotta live with the choices I made_

_And I can’t live with myself today_

But it's too late... It's my fault. Maybe if I weren’t so blind, I could have prevented this whole situation. Maybe one word, maybe one action... Maybe just one second could make a difference... We could still sit on the roof together... But my actions made it so it will never happen again...

Although I long for your voice, your touch, your eyes... It's too late. I have to live with my decisions... I have to learn to live with the fact that I let the only person, the only one being who could make me laugh except Eren, that I let you fall into that icy hell... That transparent prison I'll never wake you from...

_Hey Annie, I remembered your birthday_

_They said it’d bring some closure to say your name_

_I know I’d do it all different if I had the chance_

_But all I got are these roses to give_

_And they can’t help me make amends_

It was supposed to be your birthday today... That was one of the many reasons I'm sitting here again...and why can't I force myself to talk... I can't even say your name out loud anymore. I always open my mouth, but nothing ever comes out of them... I no longer feel worthy to say your name... I've been here so many times to tell you so many things. Everything I feel for you, everything I've always felt for you... but my voice doesn't want to cooperate...

If only I could turn everything back... If only I could go back to before we went on that stupid mission... If I'd let you talk that day... If I hadn't kept interrupting you... Maybe we would be somewhere right now, just you and me... We'd be together, no thoughts of Eren, no thoughts of survival... My gaze fell on the rose I have for you again, and now I think it's stupid that it could help me make up with you... That it would even help me talk to you... To help me make amends…

_Now that it’s over_

_I just wanna hold her_

_I’d give up all the world to see_

_that little piece of heaven looking back at me_

I'd like to smash that cursed crystal right now... I'd like to get rid of your real prison, which keeps you away from me... But nothing in the world is going to break through that wall... Neither my ever-sharpened swords, nor my voice, nor my fists, nor my tears... None of this will wake you up, nothing will save you... I've tried everything... But I've already lost hope... I lost you, and it was all my fault...

Every night I wish I'd woken up in the morning and went back in time... That this would never happen. That I wouldn't that dumb, that I wouldn’t do so many stupid things... That I wouldn’t suggest you that we would all those things together... Maybe if I'd confessed the truth back then, I wouldn't have caused you so much pain... so much suffering...

_Now that it’s over_

_I just wanna hold her_

_I’ve gotta live with the choices I made_

_And I can’t live with myself today_

The day, when Hitch had brought me that crumpled letter with my name on it, was the worst... It wasn't until I read it that when I finally knew the truth... It broke me how stupid I was, how blind I was... I couldn't believe it, I couldn't understand, how you could stand it... You're really much better at it, in the pretending, in keeping secrets... Even I couldn't really see through your mask...

I can't live with that guilt... I can't live with myself... I'm the one who should be paying for my mistakes, I'm the one who should be paying for my stupidity... and not you. It was not your fault; it was never your fault... And yet, you paid for it... It was all my fault, just my stupidity. My blurred vision by Eren prevented me from seeing clearly... To see all those feelings you had for me... and which I have also felt for you...

_Here we are_

_Now you’re in my arms_

_I never wanted anything so bad_

_Here we are_

_For a brand-new start_

_Living the life that we could’ve had_

But it's too late, it's over... I can't go back in time, I can't change it... There's nothing I can do about it... Just sitting here in front of your body, quietly shedding tears for you... Just wishing that all of this were just a dream... Just praying that you would come back to me... So I could make it up to you for my stupidity, for my mistakes...

There's so much I want to do, so much to change... But it's too late, I wasted my chance, and you paid for it... And now I have to learn to live with it. I must accept that in here, in your dungeon, in your prison... That all I can do at your transparent grave is to cry and question my decisions...

_Me and Annie walking hand in hand_

_Me and Annie never wanna end_

_Just another moment in your eyes_

_I’ll see you in another life_

_In heaven where we never say goodbye_

Now all I had left are my thoughts and memories... Just unspoken wishes and sentences... Now that I'm sitting in front of you, I can go back to the past without many worries... Back to time, when we were alone, and no one got in our way... When we both lightly dropped our walls, when I was so blind, and you were so beautiful...

When we once accidentally held hands... and then never let them go... When I noticed your slight redness so many times and thought it was my imagination... When we spent those nights together, those intimate nights that came to be just because of my stupid idea... But now it's over, and I'll never be able to fix it again... We'll never experience it together again...

_Now that it’s over_

_I just wanna hold her_

_I’d give up all the world to see_

_that little piece of heaven looking back at me_

But it's not going to happen now... It's over, and it's only mine responsible... If I had given up my world on that cursed quest, if I had paid more attention to you…maybe then I might have been holding you in my arms right now... Maybe you'd look at me with your eyes and maybe you would smile after so long time... Once again, you would be my piece of heaven...

Now all I can do is sit in front of you and quietly beg for forgiveness... If I'd known what I know now, I would never have chosen Eren. I would have never wanted him, I would never mention him in front of you... But I still mention him to you now, don't I? Even now, when I'm trying to find the right words, I always go back to Eren... And you don't deserve that...

_Now that it’s over_

_I just wanna hold her_

_I’ve gotta live with the choices I made_

_And I can’t live with myself today_

Many times, I have quietly dreamed of the possibility of us being together. Many times after that letter, I dreamed of an ideal world when you were with me... When there was no wall between us, no more deception... No more blindness, no more pretending... and most importantly, no crystal... Those dreams didn't come out of the blue, but they became more colourful every night, and I often had trouble waking up from them... It hurt too much to think that they would never come true...

They will never become real. We will never have a fresh start... To have what we couldn't... I've never wanted anything so much, I didn't want anything so much... Just one thing... Just one wish... Just you in my arms, just the two of us together...

_Here we are, now you’re in my arms_

_Here we are for a brand-new start_

_Got to live with the choices I’ve made_

_And I can’t live with myself today_

Instead of our frequents competition, we could have study together. Instead of secrets, we could communicate freely with each other. Instead of secret sitting on rooftops, we could walk hand in hand... We'd be together, nothing would stand in our way. No superiors, no bad people... It would never end between us...

Maybe in the next life we'll make it... Maybe when we get rid of those titans, maybe when you wake up... Maybe when it would be finally over... Maybe when we will all die. When we see each other again when we will talk again... Maybe that's when we'd be in heaven when we'd never have to say goodbye...

_Me and Annie walking hand in hand_

_Me and Annie never wanna end_

_Got to live with the choices I’ve made_

_And I can’t live with myself today_

I don't have much time left... I had to go, and I still haven't spoken to you... I could only leave you a rose... the last one for many months... I had to get up and stare at you one last time... To record everything into my memory for the last time... Thoughts and dreams about you will have to be enough for me to manage the time when I can't visit you...

In my dreams, we'll always be together. We'll be together, you'll be in my arms. You'll always be free there, no one would hurt you there again... and certainly not me... I have to learn to live with my choices, but I can still dream... I can dream of a time when we would have that new beginning... When would I finally be with you... With the only person I've ever loved...

_„Hey, Annie?... I still remember you...“_


End file.
